Training Ride #5 Part 1

Fact:  The days until our trip is dwindling.  12 Days and counting....t.w.e.l.v.e.  doce, a dozen, less than 2 weeks, too close to being able to count with my hands

(Fact:  The money in my bank account is also dwindling.)

Fact:  I am scared out of my mind.  Afraid, nervous, anxious, fearful, have cold feet, panicky, petrified, and terrified.



We had our last team training ride last Saturday (April 30).  It was designed to mock what an actual day would be like during the summer- complete with packing, water stops, PB&J's, and an overnight stay.  We rode 90+ miles and it was the hardest thing I have ever done.  period.

Ron and I packed our brand new team-issued back packs (which is a whole other issue in itself) the night before.  My bag was nearly packed full for one overnight stay.  I somehow have to pack for 72 days in the same bag.  Before 6am on Saturday morning, we were running through Walmart to pick up fruit, Cliff Bars, sunblock, and baby wipes. :)

We made it to Champaign at 7:45am and loaded our bags, sleeping pads, and sleeping bags into the van.  Then we got to choose our own teams for the first time- I rode with 6 other girls- TEAM STARBURST :)  (All of us had bright colorful raincoats)

And we pedaled - and we pedaled - and we pedaled some more.  One thing I learned during the ride is that you no longer break down the day by time.  Your day is ruled and divided by milage and rest stops. Have you ever gone to work or maybe a class-someplace where you want the time to pass really really fast-and you look at your watch every 5 minutes and time just seems to crawl?  You swear an hour has passed-and it really has been only 15 minutes....that is exactly what riding a bike is like.   I can ride what seems like forever and then I stop and find out it has only been 15 miles.  Crap.  80 miles to go.

Or you can break down the ride by the beginning of the day- the first mile- where you are full of energy, you are rested and ready to go with a positive attitude for the day-but there always is that lingering thought about how far you actually have to go.  Then there is the last mile-where you feel on top of the world-not just because you can finally get off your darn bike but also because you know how far you went.  It is really similar to a runner's high- a burst of energy where you feel like you could actually keep going.  And then of course there is the 93 miles in between.  And those miles are a whole other story.

There are high highs and low lows.  And honestly it is all mental.  You have a lot of time to think while moving at speeds at 9 miles an hour against the wind.  And it is so easy to let negative thoughts fill your head- especially when all you can see ahead of you is a never ending road.  I found it helpful to come up with a list of positive things to think about- such as wedding plans, or cities I am going to get to see, or food; but there are times those thoughts don't prevail, such as when we have a three mile gravel road to travel or we just realized a road is flooded and we have to add a couple mile detour to our ride or even better when we just realized we rode 3 miles uphill in the wrong direction.  Those are the times I contemplate how much money I could sell my bike for.

Those are the times I literally found myself praying.  Well sort of.  I would say in my head, "God please make this road end."  Or "God, please stop the wind."  Or "God, what I would do for a chicken chipotle burrito right now."  Or "God, please turn my bike into a motorcycle."  And I know there was a dozen times at one point on my trip I prayed for a gas station or any form of a public bathroom because I was literally going to pee my pants.

But then I really did have an "ah-hah" moment.  In no way shape or form did it make my discomfort or incessant whining go away, but it did help me keep going.  This is the whole point of the trip that they tell us about.  Previous riders and board members always tell us to think about what the cancer patients go through- the pain and discomfort and long roads to recovery (no pun intended) that they had no control over.  And they don't get a free pass out.  They can't just wake up one day and be completely free of cancer.  Just like God clearly wasn't going to make an engine appear on the back of my bike or a toilet appear in the middle of the road.  All you can ask for is positive thoughts to get you through it.  And coming up with positive thoughts has to be a whole lot easier when all you have to complain about is something like the wind instead of chemo.